Monday, April 5, 2010
"Weehian ah! You take O level's this year, just few more months to go only. Don't
go out and work la! Your family no savings meh? Why cannot wait till you finish
O's then go work?", quoted and combined from many of my friends.
Seriously, it's not just i want to work right? Which teenager will want to work when
taking such serious and important exam? No right! Just when will you see a youth
frustrated with home affairs and studies at the age of 16half? Rarely.
I can't deny the fact that being almost 17 is old enough to handle all these stuffs, but hello?
Is there anyone out there understand what's bothering me? I doubt the question itself.
"AhDi! You must study well! See? Now very hard to study. Since you can study why don't
study? Stop skipping schools." mesmerized by my aunt. She just can't kept blabbering at me persistently. Apparently, it's typical monday afternoon, but what's not typical is i have a FNN
exam going on at 1430. Yet, i am still here typing nonsensical stuffs about my that invisible stress.
I SOOO NEED A BREAKKKK!!!! Maybe, what i need is money. Being wealthy seems good.
At least you don't have to bother about your meals and O's fee payment. Haizz..
Opps! Late, 1352! I still have to get changed and frankly, i am soOO unprepared for the later
exam! Wish me good luck:D
where are you, my dream.
1:42:00 PM
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Hours ago i thought i was devastated. But i felt nothing.
Not even a single despair or shedding tears with my mum.
Just numbness. My heart wasn't shattered into fragments like before.
It's just dead. I can't feel the throbbing sensation. I can't feel a single thing.
The only thing i can feel right now is how. How am i going to consider plenty
of options right in front of me? How am i going to deal with a failure father, an immature brother,
a so-need-to-see-a-shrink mother, a moronic grandma, an always worrying for god sake grandpa,
a full mountain of bills and that emptiness in my mind? How much longer can i take such heavy
burden on my already-sore shoulders? What about my O levels? The fees of paying it.
It's less than 36hours to dateline. How on earth am i going to hand that sum of money to
my form-teacher? What about my desired future of being the top art director? It is really just
nostalgic?
Now i am not just dealing with a normal student's problems. A typical teenager don't have problems about settling family bills, household income and that invisible stress.
I have to share the pressure of being driven by scarlet-paper bills. I have to get my butts of my study-chair out to look for part-time jobs. I have to travel from the west to the east to meet my family, but always got driven crazy by them. I have to tolerate the nonsense of my grandma persistently intimating my mother. I have to get use to my father-always-dying nonsensical rubbish. I can barely look at my blood-lined brother with his atrocious wrongdoings. I have to deal with all these stuffs when i am taking my O levels. Even when i was taking my N levels, these things came up as well.
Today, i travelled down east to fetch my mum home. Just as expected, my grandma did what she did always. Intimating my mother. I took the 350bucks (that was firstly intended to pay for my O levels payment) from my mum, who she got it from my dad when i was not around. But, he refused to give my mum the household income. And what about our house utility bills? I passed that sum of cash to my mum after we reached home. I told her i am going to sort this out myself. I told her she's going to take this money for what our house needs. But where on earth am i going to find the money? My today's astrology says "Kyle, Today is not the best day to be making big financial decisions. You may feel confused or uncertain, and will lack focus or direction. Put off any risky decisions until you feel more clear and certain, or until you have better advice."
So, where on earth am i going to get that solution to solve this problem? I have many doubts about it. Certainly.
where are you, my dream.
9:16:00 PM
Monday, February 22, 2010
Awwww.
Was suffering from sleep deprivation last night, didn't managed to sleep for more than 4hrs.
What surprise me was, even some of my classmates didn't sleep well last night as well.
LOL! Is that a bad omen? Hahas.
Omen on? How will i know? DEHHHH!
Was damm tired and fatigue this early morning.
Seriously, i was exhausted by today's lessons, especially chinese and pastoral care.
English was another round of chanting, nagging us regarding how lucky we are, blahblah...
Math was about vectors cum his lovestory issue, frankly, almost makes most of us puke.
Biology was no more than ecology revision.
Physic is just plain boring.
Chinese is just making me more weary, almost everyday tests.
Pastoral care was WORST! Sitting in the hall was enough to make us feel sleepy, yet there's
still chanting session going on on the stage, how could i easily survive through today, i don't really know. After which, went with eve,kim and qian to kahyin's, gossips about issues happened
today.......
ok, NOW I AM HOME!
where are you, my dream.
6:50:00 PM
Sunday, February 21, 2010
I was having my dinner cum supper yesterday late night with shaun at Mac's,
when my preston rang, and my mind went blank when the news reached me.
Maybe some might just say, "it's none of your business, why are you so concerned
about it?". Or maybe "are you a fag? then why are you being so emotional?"
Whatever people says, i just say what i feel, do what i thinks always right.
Although i wasn't concerned in the issue, it seems i do experience certain similar
circumstances as well. I do understand that feeling when standing outside the
ward waiting for unanswered question. It does makes you shivered, make your fingers
tremble hard. But life is destined. Although i don't believe in god, neither do i believe
in any superstitiousness, but i do believe in fate. I believe that fate is controlled not by god,
but ourselves. Life is destined. It's not about the issue whether what you do or what you
have not do, it's about that everything were set. It was set in the way that it decides everything.
Being open-minded, i have learnt many lessons about life despite the age of 17.
What i was trying to say is that if you have decided on something, a decision that will
never leave you with any regrets, don't hesitate to carry on. Or if anything stuck you
from continuing your road of life, moved on, or think about it in a positive way, then maybe
you might be able to realize it is part of everybody life. Everybody will experience death,
it's the matter on whether soon or late.
where are you, my dream.
1:19:00 AM
Saturday, February 20, 2010
HURRAYYY!
I can finally say BYEBYE to BreakingDawn, by Stephenie Meyer.
Now i am going for the new novel introduced by JIAYUAN!!!
"Marked", wah, total 8 series.
*Faint.
Schooling seems to be tough for me.
It seems that when your mindset have already reach far beyond secondary level,
you tends to get fatigue about studying.
DEEHHHH!!
I must really find that passion for study back! It's official 69moreschhdays to GCE O CHINESE!
ARGHHHHHHHHH!
69DAYS!!!!!
where are you, my dream.
2:49:00 PM
Ok, i am finally back for blogging!
HURRAYYY!
Opps, but it seems my readers have all gone to the other side of the
world.
VARNISHED!!!
How can it be?
I must retrieve them back.....
It's about time to get started!
CHEERS!
where are you, my dream.
2:34:00 PM
Monday, January 4, 2010
Just can't believe that 3mths of holidays have ended that fast.
Frankly speaking, i am still in my holidays mood.
Just feel like...er maybe O's still not yet ready for me.
First day of school was....different?
All my old frens have left JWSS, different without them sitting with me at the canteen
or chatting with them when met in a coincidence.
Certain school rules have changed this particular new year.
- School has decided to stop allowing teachers to cut our hairs, instead they hired barber(which cost Us Students $5ea) to cut for us. Good News Or Bad News?
- Every Wednesday school starts at 8am. Good news!
- Everyday except Monday & Friday(which will end at 12.45) school will end at 1.20 instead of 1.55pm. Definitely a good news, but this meant that we will have remedials or extra classes for longer periods.
- Certain teachers were changed; EL - LimShynn, Geo- Ruby, Chinese - NewCher, Phy - MrSha. Good news is that EL and Geo are still good teachers, but Chinese is a totally new teacher, and we are currently facing O's level, with the class population of more than 40+ and mr Sha's coaching is really...."lack of students attentions", how do i even expect dat my Sci's and Chi will score well with teachers that one kept emphasize on CHINESE DISCIPLINE and one that need to more emphasize on PHYSIC FOCUSING.
Nevertheless, I will need a tuition teacher for Physic and Mathematics. My journey for O levels
have just started, but yet, seems like i am pacing at a slower rate, i really need to boost myself and make double, double & DOUBLE EFFORTs for it!!!
where are you, my dream.
11:05:00 PM
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Woohoo! 1more day+ to sch reopens, I am looking forward to it!
Frankly speaking, i started feel i am devoted to studying!
I just can't explained it using words or phrases, hmmm.
but i can say that there's a urge telling me that i must work
hard and strive for the best!
No matter how long the road is (10mths plus actually:D), but
i must treat studying as if in a fun way, a way that will make me
feel contented and pleased, then i will be able to have interest
in STUDYING!!!
Apparently, chinese says "讲的容易，做得难", cause, I haven even purchase
any books for the year!
ARGH! I must really get myself into studying!
My Nikon Camera, My Samsung Preston, My Poly Life, My Future CAREER!!!
HERE I COME!!!
PS: I will try to update my blog often, but i don't seen much readers out here.
Pathetic! All readers run far far le!!! T_T
where are you, my dream.
11:32:00 PM
